My whole life I've struggled with my weight.
I'd eat the same kinds of foods and the same amount as my peers and I was always bigger. And it's always been hard for me.
I was a dancer and so being big just wasn't acceptable.
In junior high I was bullied horribly by a girl in my grade because of my weight and boys made comments in the hallway. It hurt. Side comments are more important than people know. They can really hurt.
In junior high I also went on a big health kick. I was just sick of it. So I lost about 40 pounds. I was running daily, eating very strict, healthy meals, and I was working out constantly. Even doing all this I couldn't get below a size 10. On my frame, however, that looked pretty skinny. I've always had really muscular thighs.
Kids then started to call me bulimic. Girls followed me to the bathroom claiming to be "worried for my health." They just wanted in on the drama. I was actually at my healthiest.
However, I couldn't do that forever. So I went through high school gaining some weight back, but still not ever really being FAT.
Now that I'm in college, I'm not exactly happy with my body, but I've learned to live in peace with it. I don't hate it.
I've learned that men are just as attracted to the body I have as the bodies I envy. That's helped me a lot.
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