I have struggled with my weight since I was a little girl. I started gaining weight rapidly when I was 10, now 14 years later I'm still gaining weight. After medical conditions, I have decided that once and for all I'm going to do something about my weight. A lot of people always say to me that I'm fat, ugly and some times even useless, BUT I've stopped listening to what they say. The only person who can judge me is myself.
I was an anorexic for a little over 8 years. It was diagnosed the summer before my 6th grade year--no one really knows when it started originally. I have been a recovering anorexic for 6 months now and have gone from 80 something pounds to 130. I want to be happy, to feel ok in my skin, but it's always hard. Even my boyfriend, who I got healthy for, can't make me feel better about my body all the time. I found this site just today, in the worst week of insecurities I've had in a long while. And after the initial shock and crying fit, this is the most amazing thing I have ever seen. Thank you so much everyone, you make people like me see what beauty can really be even in ourselves.
I'm 5 foot 7 and 10 stone again. I'm only 18 and throughout my short life I've always had problems with myself and my weight. I've been 6 stone and 12 stone and no matter what I am I can't stand my body. My biggest critic is myself and I know my ideal weight is directly in the middle of that, but I care too much about what people think.
I will be 26 this friday. I started gaining weight my junior year of high school, my senior year I got married and pregnant. I didnt really care about my weight at the time but when I became pregnant with my son I started to worry. I have had depression for a long time and it became worse when I had my son. I was home all the time with the two kids and found comfort in food. I was having trouble in my marriage because of my low self esteem. I was obsessed with losing weight yet didnt do anything to do it.
I became self critical of my body when I was 7 or 8 years old because I felt I was too fat. I dealt with these feelings all through middle and high school and for a few years after. I felt that the fat on my body was something to be ashamed of and that it made me undesirable both as a lover and as an individual. My concern for my weight and eating habits seemed to consume me at times. I eventually began binge eating and then forcing myself to vomit around the age of 15. I did this fairly consistently for about 3 years. My body image issues overlapped confusingly with my sexual attraction for women.
I was about 12 by the time I noticed the scale rising. I'd always been under 100 pounds, then suddenly, puberty made me stack on weight steadily and my clothes weren't fitting correctly anymore. I was homeschooled, so I wasn't sure what other girls my age were supposed to look like, or what to expect. My younger sisters ate as much as they wanted and never seemed phased by it, all the while I started eating less. Before anyone knew it, I wasn't eating enough and hid the food my parents required I eat. Whenever I bathed, I would poke my stomach and pinch my thighs. How could I let myself get this way?
I was out of shape and weak growing up after having beat Cervical Cancer. I never felt strong or sure of myself after I found out I was sick and then even after I was in remission. I lost so much confidence being that sick. But once I was recovering I met a nice man and we married, but then divorced when he cheated on me. I went back to feeling sorry for myself. But one morning, I woke up, watched the sun coming up, and understood how lucky I was to have beaten a deadly disease and to be alive.
I've had issues with weight my entire life. I remember kids chanting "cow man" to the theme of Batman. My parents would ask me if I "really wanted to eat that? I know your weight bothers you." Growing up, I didnt really watch what I ate at but it appared to be fairly close to what my skinny friends ate. Regardless, my weight slowly creeped up until college when I realized I had hypothyroidism, and I was up to 220 lbs at 22. My legs were chafing so badly it hurt to walk, and I couldn't take it any more.
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