First of all I want to say that English isn't my first language, there's probably a lot of grammar and spelling mistakes but this is something that I've been thinking about for a long time now and I really want to share my thoughts.
I feel very inspired reading your stories. And now I want to share mine.
As I get older (I'm 20 years old) I realize that self esteem isn't only based on the way you see your self in the mirror. Call me shallow but that's what I thought for a long time, and if that's what you're thinking, you're wrong.
I'm 163 cm (5'3") and 75 kg (165lbs), my body type is apple, and I've always been harsh on myself.
The silly part is that now I'm confused if I'm happy about myself or not. Some days I wake up thinking "this is the way I am and I'm quite happy" but some days I wake up absolutely fed up with myself. My confusion makes it hard for me to go on a diet or change my lifestyle.
I've caught myself hating quite fantastic girls because I'm jealous of their body. What's wrong with me? At that point I had enough of myself. I thought this isn't fair to the girls and it's certainly not fair to me to end up hating girls because of my jealousy. It doesn't feel good hating someone does it?
I want to be that girl who's confident about herself, who's nice and sweet and first of all smart and one day I will.
Education helps me to accept me for me. As I learn more I feel happier about myself. I feel more confident and my priorities start changing.
I love all body types and shapes, but why not mine? I see the pros in everyone else's body but mine. I'd love to know why.