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I Need To Do This For Me

I will be 26 this Friday.




I started gaining weight my junior year of high school, my senior year I got married and pregnant. I didn't really care about my weight at the time but when I became pregnant with my son I started to worry. I have had depression for a long time and it became worse when I had my son. I was home all the time with the two kids and found comfort in food. I was having trouble in my marriage because of my low self esteem. I was obsessed with losing weight yet didn't do anything to do it.


Fast forward to October 2014. I was living with my husband and three beautiful kids when everything changed for me. My husband and I separated but still saw each other every day. I began to lose weight hoping he would notice and return. At my heaviest I was 181 and lost weight pretty quickly with all the stress of the separation. In February he started seeing someone and I realized I need to do this for me and not him. So here I am at 138. I have severe body image issues and it holds be back from moving on. I met a great guy who lives in the same city as me but I just cant meet him because I don't want him to think I look disgusting. I'm trying to be more comfortable with my body but it is hard.

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