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Shedding

Ever since I was little, I've been extremely insecure about my weight.




My sisters used to poke fun at how pudgy I was, and it got to the point where I'd go to bed crying thinking I'd never be as thin and beautiful as them.

As I got older I began to shed the baby fat, and become a more fit individual. In other words, I hit puberty.

However I didn't take much notice to this and continued to think of myself as overweight. Everywhere I went I compared myself to others thinking I was bigger than every single person that entered my field of vision. In grade 9, I weighed about 130 pounds, and was 5'4" - 5'5". To many this wouldn't be that big, but to me I was huge. I was extremely insecure that year in particular as it was a new school, and I had virtually no friends for the entire year.

For some reason I had this warped idea that if I weighed less, more people would like me, so I began shedding more pounds. Another reason I really wanted to lose weight was because.. well, my gym teacher had weighed everyone in our class, and when she weighed me... she asked me if I knew that I had weighed 130 pounds, and recommended that I watch my weight.. at that point, I began dieting. I barely ate anything at all, only eating to the odd fruit or veggie. I lost 10 pounds, and then moved to a new school the following year.

I did well at my new school, and began eating like normal again as well as starting birth control the summer before my junior year. (it was for my severe cramps, no sex for me :) )

Grade 11 ruined my weight. I was stressed because my dad and step mom divorced, I didn't have most of my stuff, we were moving from place to place, the work load from school was horrid, and I was alone most of the time as my father was away for 5 days of the week, leaving me virtually alone.

I ate. I ate A LOT in during that school year. And gained a whopping 30 pounds, went from a size 8 to a size 12, and now weigh over 150 pounds. I feel like some of this weight might have to do with the birth control but I'm not 100% sure. More than likely it was just my over abundance of emotional eating.

So, now I want to shed some pounds again. But in a healthy way :) I'm not going to starve myself, and I AM going to exercise. I plan on eating healthy, and being positive :) No, I don't believe I'm fat, just.. curvy :) And although I'm not upset with being 5'5" and 150 pounds, I do want to lose a little weight. And I know I can do it :)

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