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Skinny As Expected Norm

Being raised in an Asian household where being skinny just comes naturally and is an expected norm, I often heard how chubby I was compared to my cousins growing up.

 

I am currently 5'2, 107 lbs, size 0-2, xs-s, and have a rectangular body shape


10-year-old me usually brushed off these remarks, but I'm not 10 anymore. In high school, I noticed that my thighs touched and my stomach seem to flow over the top of my jeans. The summer before senior year I panicked: "I'm 105 pounds and senior pictures are in 2 months!" Begin the onslaught of counting calories and skipping meals.


I successfully went back to 95 pounds for my senior pictures. Although I wished I was 90, it was good enough. The dieting was over. The left picture was taken July 20, 2013, a couple weeks before the senior pics. The right was taken today. I am currently 5'2, 107  lbs, size 0-2, xs-s, and have a rectangular body shape. Throughout this ordeal I turned to self harm as a way of control (as you can see on my thighs). I stopped cutting 5 months ago. I'm starting to hate my body again. I was so close to getting a curvy figure.  I wish I was 90.

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